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10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

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Don’t let anyone tell you adventure stops when you have kids!

10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Stuart Profile Small 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kidsHave you and your kids had an adventure today? This week? This month? This year? No? Well it’s easier to put the TV on isn’t it? It’s less hassle to go shopping. The kids are busy and the adults need some down-time. What’s so great about doing things together anyway?

But just pause for just a minute and remember all those promises you made back when the house was a giant play pen and sleep was something other people had. Didn’t you resolve to spend time with your precious family? Didn’t you vow to work less and play more? What was that about exploring the world together?

Exactly ten years ago we started The Family Adventure Project after relocating from London to Cumbria with a six week old baby. With the arrival of first Matthew, then Cameron, and lastly Hannah, we made those same resolutions to put our family first. But we’re both easily distracted and knew that life was likely to put all manner of spanners in the works. So we wrote some ideas down and promised each other we’d act on them. These ideas ranged from getting out on our bikes more, to taking a gap year with the toddlers. Over the years, those hand written notes became a website and now a blog, recording all the things we’ve done together, providing lasting memories of our little and big adventures and reminding us not to settle for a life less lived.

Below are some of the things we’ve learnt along the way. And in some cases are still learning. Matthew is now in double figures and nappies are a thing of the past, but the family adventure continues… I wonder what the next ten years will bring?

10 life lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Lesson 1: Newborns can travel too

Babies don’t explode if you put them on an aeroplane. They don’t melt if you take them out in the rain. They don’t drown if you put them inside a boat or canoe. And they don’t break if you hike them up a mountain. Sure, those early months and years are a precious and demanding time, but you don’t have stay at home to enjoy them. If you’ve both got some leave and are starting to argue over who does the next nappy change, then why not change your location instead. It’s a great time to explore the world together. You can breast feed up a mountain just as easily as on the sofa and if you aren’t brave enough to rough it, perhaps do a short tour of hostels or affordable hotels. Or just start by getting away for the weekend. You might as well have no sleep in a place you’ll remember.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

With the right gear, skills and confidence you can get out adventuring even with a newborn
Photo: Early outings, Morecambe Prom, England

Lesson 2: Toddlers are easier in the outdoors

It’s a myth that being trapped in the house with the little cookie monster for days on end is a healthy situation for you both. Toddlers were made for stamping in puddles, for gathering up leaves in the woods, and for stuffing twigs into pockets. The outdoors is a great big playground. It’s also free. Why visit expensive fun factories or waste money on play barns when you can explore the world together at no cost? Take a wagon of snacks and go see what’s out there.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Toddlers love being out and about. All that stimulus and quality time with parents is great for development.
Photo: Carrot fishing with baby, Western Sweden, Dra at Skogen Tour 2006

Lesson 3: Tweens and teens bring challenges wherever they are

Everyone knows children can be challenging, tweens and teens especially, so why not let them sulk in a pleasant environment? Let them hate you while the sun beats onto your back and a light wind fans your face. Let them text their friends from a forest instead of phoning them from their bedroom. Help them widen their horizons, take on responsibility and give them to the chance to say what’s on their mind without the distractions of everyday life. Spend time with them now, keep those communications channels open and you can build relationships that will survive almost anything.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Interests and attitudes may change, but accomodate these on your travels together
and you’ll build relationships that can survive anything.
Photo: Approaching the High Tatras, Slovakia, Blue Danube Tour 2011

Lesson 4: The world is a natural learning environment

You don’t need to teach them a language if they’re immersed in it already. You won’t need to teach them emergency navigation skills if you give them a map and let them figure out the way on a regular basis. School is a great thing, but the world is the most effective teacher there is. Just think of all the subjects that crop up when you’re out exploring the real world. History, geography, science, maths, art and languages never feel like a chore when they’re studied as part of a journey.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

There are so many amazing places to explore in the world. And they all have something to teach us.
Photo: Exploring the lakes of Western Sweden, 2006


Lesson 5: Family life is more fun when you’re together

On a family adventure you chat, you joke, you laugh. You share things. You have fun. You have tantrums. But let’s face it, if there’s going to be tantrums at least there will be others there to share the anger. So much of daily life is spent in separate rooms, or even separate buildings. Come together once in a while and get to know each other. Build up a bank of shared experiences that you can draw on. It’ll help to ground you for when more difficult times set in.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Adventures together create special moments, shared experiences you’ll never forget.
Photo: Celebrating at Finisterre, Pedalling Pilgrims Tour, Spain 2008

Lesson 6: You don’t need all that stuff. Really, you don’t

Always thought a stone was a boring everyday object? Think again. Our family adventures always remind us that the plastic toys, the Nintendo DS’s and the GHD hair straighteners are not what life is all about. Life is about people. Ditch the stuff and try playing with each other for a change. If you’re worried about your children being stripped of their favourite possessions then don’t be. Even the littlest member of the family can make a doll out of a stick and we’re constantly surprised by how many games they can all create from a pocket full of stones.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Kids don’t need TV, toys and computers to play or be happy.
And we don’t need half the things we think we do either.
Photo: Dam building, South Island, New Zealand, Big Trip, 2004/5

Lesson 7: Taking on new challenges boosts confidence

Who doesn’t want confident children? Every time you go on a journey together, go somewhere new or try something different you create an opportunity to learn new skills for yourself and the rest of the family. Even on the most basic package holiday you can stretch yourself in terms of social interaction, by trying to get around a different environment or make yourself understood in a different language. And with an independent adventure the sky’s the limit; exploring, not knowing, testing your limits, dealing with setbacks and challenges   become everyday experiences. And learning to deal with this builds character and develops personal resilience. You’ll discover that you and your family can deal with way more than you think and that’s great for everyone’s confidence.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Trying new things is a great way to develop and test skills, confidence and character.
Photo: Learning to sail, Scotland, 2010

Lesson 8: Adventures create strong reminders of their childhood

Children grow up in the blink of an eye and, let’s face it, a lot of regular life isn’t really that memorable. But adventure ramps up the number of new situations, people and places we encounter. It stirs up emotions of all kinds, and deepens and tests relationships, which simply put creates lots of strong, shared memories. We won’t forget the time we slept out under the stars, the sense of achievement when we cycled across the UK in the summer holidays, the drama of a sinking boat when we were supposed to be learning to sail.  And these memories of our adventures together anchor us to moments in their childhood.  Add to that the photos, videos, diaries and blogs we have of adventures at every age and it’s sure going to be hard to forget what happened when the kids were growing up. And it should make it much easier to embarrass them on their wedding day.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Adventure creates stories you’ll remember for ever, even when they forget.
Photo: Storytime, South Island, New Zealand, Big Trip 2004/5

Lesson 9: Getting out with the kids keeps you fit not fat 

Middle aged spread setting in? Get on your bikes. Or up a mountain. The children will be fitter than you, and closer to their peak. Let that be a challenge not a problem. We reckon we lose an average of four pounds in weight every time we go on a cycling holiday, while eating loads more. How good is that? And if the kids are eating too many trans fats then make them burn them off. They’ll thank you when their own middle age sets in.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Riding downhill is a buzz, but active adventures usually burn more calories than you consume.
Photo: Downhill, Pedalling Pilgrims Tour 2008, Spain

Lesson 10: Parenthood is short

You think it will last forever. It doesn’t. Make the most of it while you can.

 10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids

Life is short. How many years have you got left with your kids before you die?
Photo: A little reminder from one of the kids, 2011

 

What important lessons have you learnt adventuring with your kids? 

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Stuart's the adventure addict half of the team, always trying to persuade the family to get out, do more, go further. As co-founder and co-director he handles the business, creative, design, technical and publishing aspects of the project and is our chief photographer. With training as a professional learning and development consultant. an engineer and musician, his contribution is eclectic and unpredictable!

25 Responses to “10 lessons from 10 years adventuring with kids” Subscribe

  1. Cheyenne October 24, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    WOW – you have really said everything I true believe about having a family and getting out there. Part of the reason we were so happy to move to St.Maarten – simplify life – get out there and explore and DO – everything we possibly can. It is also why I am not looking forward to returning to the U.S. – the habits of society just suck you back in. SO, we plan on coming to your side of the pond. Thank you so much for putting this out there in all the right words. I so wish more people understood this…….time flies with kids and you really have to do it now or the time will be gone. The best to you and your family!!!!!! CONGRATS on ten years.

  2. Kate October 24, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

    Inspiring and guilt inducing. Must do better!

  3. Stuart (Family Adventure Project) October 24, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Thanks Cheyenne and Kate. It’s so easy amidst the day to day demands of life and parenting to ‘forget’ how quickly the years pass. I am forever having to remind myself to make the time to put family first! As for feeling guilty, I feel that too, it’s not a totally unproductive feeling.

  4. tourcrafters October 28, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    brilliant stuff here. how all kids should grow up, but you already knew that. cheers from chicago

  5. Jennifer Duncan October 28, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    Well said. I’m laughing at the majority of your kid pictures are with them buddled up to the nines! Oh, and the joy of taking a tween to the forest? They CAN’T text or tweet – no cell reception- or download the latest song. Nope they actually have to play with their brothers or stare at a tree. Either way, a win-win in my book!

  6. Stuart (Family Adventure Project) October 28, 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    Thanks @tourcrafters, I agree. We’re very lucky to have the opportunities we do and the energy and inclination to take advantage of them.

    @Jennifer Duncan As they say, no such thing as wrong weather, only wrong clothing. That little investment in those yellow waterproof jackets and buoyancy aids has been repaid over and over.

    Thanks for your comments.

  7. Nancy from Family on Bikes November 5, 2011 at 3:27 am #

    I LOVE this post! I want to ditto each and every point you made. Seriously – you’re right on with this one.

  8. Misha - The Bling Buoy November 9, 2011 at 3:48 am #

    I just found this blog and love every word you have written. I have four young children and felt so inspired by every point you made. Love it!

  9. Stuart (Family Adventure Project) November 9, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    @Nancy: Thanks for your endorsement! Anyone who’s travelled as extensively as you have with your twins will of course know this first-hand.

    @Misha: Glad you found us. Hope the inspiration is useful fuel for your own family adventures.

  10. Sarah @ Erck.org December 18, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

    Thanks for this post, I saw it via Traveling Two. We toured around the world for a year as newlyweds and now we have a two year old. I want to start back with the touring but am a little intimidated!

    • Stuart (Family Adventure Project) February 23, 2012 at 9:07 am #

      We felt intimidated too after having kids, but started small, dreamed big, took a step at a time and learnt a new way of touring. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.. at least that’s what my mum always said! She also said mind over matter, but that’s not so easy when you’re pulling a toddler uphill in a trailer!

  11. Amy January 24, 2012 at 10:17 pm #

    This a wonderful post – great for stirring up the adventure juices and enjoy living in this wonderful world.

    I have shared a quote and a link from this post on my blog – just thought I would let you know. The thoughts here are just too good not to share. http://caloundrahomeschool.blogspot.com/2012/01/adventurous-family-life.html

  12. Julia, KidsTravel2 February 22, 2012 at 10:21 pm #

    Great approach to life and such an important message to enjoy the time you have with your family and children

    • Stuart (Family Adventure Project) February 23, 2012 at 9:09 am #

      Although it doesn’t always feel it at the time, those family years are so transient. I think I feel that more as the kids get older too. Thanks for commenting.

  13. Kelly AKA Muuuuummy AKA The Wiffey February 23, 2012 at 7:10 am #

    Oh wow this is so inspiring and all so true. We are off with our wee family next week to St Lucia, you have inspired me to dare to ditch the plastic stuff and just enjoy nature!

    • Stuart (Family Adventure Project) February 23, 2012 at 9:10 am #

      St Lucia sounds like fun. Go ditch that plastic stuff! Nature is such a great playground and teaches a whole lot better too!

  14. Soultravelers3 April 6, 2012 at 3:29 am #

    I couldn’t agree more and big congrats! We’ve been adventuring with our daughter since she was born in 2000 & on an open ended world tour for the last 6 years ( 44 countries on 5 continents so far on $23/day pp).

    Keep inspiring people ..it’s truly much easier and more rewarding than most families realize!

  15. Sue Ann October 18, 2012 at 3:32 am #

    So nice to come across some like minded parents. We just returned from a trip to Nepal with a tween and a teen – no wi fi, texting or tv. We had to talk! We played cards and made up games from rocks. Love this post. Thank you!

    • admin October 18, 2012 at 11:21 am #

      Hi Sue. Sounds wonderful. The connected world is a wonderful thing. But it’s good to disconnect too sometimes. We were talking about the lure of TV while travelling on one of our talking points recently “The Goggle Box” Thanks for commenting.

  16. Starla November 18, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    I love this post. My friends don’t understand how we can always be on the go. For the most part our kids nap better if they have been stimulated sufficiently. And to us not only is the two or three hours of silence worth it but the smiles and laughter and excitement are life affirming.

  17. Samuel - Smiling Faces December 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

    This is such an inspiring post! I think for anybody thinking that starting a family means your days of travel are over should read this.

  18. Clare at BabyAbroad May 15, 2013 at 11:36 am #

    Love it! Especially no 2 – toddlers are easier outdoors. It’s so true. I’ve also found my girls have a lot less to argue about when they’re in the great outdoors having fun together than scrapping over a toy.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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  2. The Family Adventure Project | Alastair Humphreys - May 28, 2014

    […] Why adventure? We did it, and still do it, because we have fun together. When the kids were younger it was all about the excitement of finding a playground in the wilderness, riding a board down sand dunes or over a wave, or stumbling across a brussel sprout farm. Now they are older, it’s the fun of negotiating border crossings in unfamiliar countries with unfamiliar languages, taking on bigger physical challenges, and learning new skills together. And yes, we’d still have fun in a sprout farm! […]

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