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No risk, no consequences, no adventure?
Nov 4th, 2011 @ 12:01 am › Stuart
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No risk, no consequences, no adventure?

Time for a moment’s risk assessment, but what are the real risks here?

Stuart Profile Small No risk, no consequences, no adventure?“There’s a little bridge over there, or you can take the stepping stones,” I explain as we approach the edge of the stream.

It’s an unusually fine Scottish Spring day and our group of family and friends are straggled out along the heathery path that leads down from Corrie Lochan to the rocky West coast of the Isle of Arran.

“Can I take the bridge, like mum?” asks Hannah.

Kirstie’s already on the bridge; it sometimes seems she’s hard wired that way. But I don’t want the kids to blindly follow in her footsteps, not without considering the alternative. She probably feels the same way about me.

I pause. “You could take the bridge. But the stepping stones look more fun.”

Hannah eyes up the water and the gaps between the stones. “But what if I fall in?”

I say nothing and let her weigh it up. She doesn’t need me to tell her the consequences.

“Can I hold your hand?” she finally asks, swatting a midge off her nose.

Of course she could. But I think she can manage it herself, without me.

“But what if I fall in?” I ask.

She giggles. I think she’d like that. It’s unlikely but not impossible; I might fall in, I might get wet. There’s risk and consequences. And that’s the point. Without that where’s the adventure?

But perhaps things look different with five year old legs, a mum on a bridge and little experience of stepping stones. Truth be told, the risks are different for Hannah. Falling in is possible, maybe even likely. But no-one ever died of wet feet. Did they?

The giggling subsides as Hannah hesitates on the edge. She looks over to mum, heading off down the hill, and takes a deep breath…..

No risk, no consequences, no adventure?

No risk, no consequences, no sense of adventure.
Helping kids take calculated risks is part of a parents job.

Do you have a view on this story? We’d love to hear your comments below.

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Categories: Adventure Parenting, Risk, Why Adventure?
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arrow19 Responses

  1. Suzy
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    very interesting post. thanks for sharing.

  2. Stuart (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Thanks Suzy. Enjoyed your picture of protoplasm too. I love those thought provoking things in public spaces.

  3. kerry dexter
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    grest story and just the right photos too. thanks!

  4. Kirstie (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Thanks @Kerry. Bet you could suggest a suitable Scottish soundtrack??

  5. Becca @ R We There Yet Mom?
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    I love this story!! You are so right to challenge your kiddos to think out of the box and take risks!!!!

    Thanks for linking up this am!

    ~Becca

  6. Kirstie (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Thanks @Becca Kids and parents often have quite different views of risk. Come to think of it so do parents, which is another challenge altogether. Thanks to you for hosting the link circle.

  7. Lisa
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Way to go Hannah! I love that you were able to capture that moment in a photo.

  8. Kirstie (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Thanks @Lisa. A bit of sports action mode and a little luck helped capture that moment. I love the way her foot is still in the air leaving the outcome a little unclear… did she make it or did she get wet?

  9. Steve
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Aren’t you supposed to be holding her hand?
    Love the story though, and a great picture too.

  10. wandering educators
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    oh i LOVE this!! brave girl!!

  11. Stuart (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    @Steve What hold her hand instead of taking a photo??? I like the fact you have more kids than suitcases. We generally travel with more luggage than children!

  12. Thomas Arbs
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    This has been an ongoing discussion over at familyonbikes, what avoiding every and all risk means for the kids. I am not a very courageous dad myself, but agree that a little risk now and then is an absolute must. And yes, lovely set of pictures!

  13. Stuart (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    @Thomas Arbs It’s a discussion in many, many circles! Kirstie and I regularly ‘discuss’ it ;-) and often have different feelings and perceptions of the risks of an activity or situation.

    I think there’s an important skill for parents here in becoming good at objectively assessing risks for themselves and their kids, articulating, testing and challenging their own perceptions of risk, understanding what the differences between risk, hazard and consequences are. And being able to talk about that together. It can take courage to have that debate! And I bet you are probably more courageous than you know. Thanks for commenting.

  14. Sonja
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    I like the narrative with your pics. Thanks!

  15. Jessica
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Good for her! That was a great story!

  16. Kirstie (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Thanks @Sonja @Jessica @wandering educators for taking the time to comment.

  17. Stephanie
    18 mos, 3 wks ago

    Great story. I was so afraid of everything as a kid (and still many things as an adult). But my husband is adventurous and we’re encouraging our Muffin to take some of the risks I was afraid of when I was younger. I don’t want her to be a ‘fraidy cat like me.

  18. Stuart (Family Adventure Project)
    18 mos, 2 wks ago

    @Stephanie Childhood patterns can run deep eh?! The tension between one more adventurous and one more conservative parent is one we know well! But the counterbalance is useful. And sometimes it makes the utmost sense to be a fraidy cat too.

  19. Lela
    12 mos, 1 wk ago

    I’m taking my daughter to rural Ghana in less that two weeks so this has been weighing heavily on my mind! I do think you have to give them experiences like this so they can handle the bigger ones when they come along.

    ghanamakeadifference.weebly.com

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