Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

Believe me, torchlight does not bring out the best in me Believe me, torchlight does not bring out the best in me
Baby in a tent Baby in a tent
By the time everyone is in the tent, there's not much room for romance By the time everyone is in the tent, there's not much room for romance
Peering out of the tent Peering out of the tent
Around the smoking fire Around the smoking fire

IMG 3439 Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

The view outside your tent may be great, but I want to talk about what goes on inside

Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

Kirstie Profile Small Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?A new survey says camping improves your sex life.

“Sex in a tent? What rubbish!” I cry over the breakfast table.

A tent is no place for romance

In my experience a tent has got to be the worst location possible for a romantic coupling. For a start Stuart would never let me into his sleeping bag. He says I steal his heat. And he can’t get in mine because the zip has been broken in the zipped up position for the last four years.

And while tents always look lovely in the glow of a barbecue or the afternoon sun, when it comes to actually getting into one at bedtime, well one of us is always too hot. Too cold. Too tired.

Yet according to the survey of 500 couples by tent maker OLPRO, camping is a natural aphrodisiac. There were five reasons couples gave for getting it on more in the outdoors.

IMG 1108 Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

Camping may seem romantic at sunset but once the sun is gone the trouble begins

Fewer distractions

Fewer distractions (45%) came top. Fewer distractions? What about the cow mooing, the dog barking, the baby crying, the party going on in the next door tent, and the cars returning from their night out to the quaint English pub?

And that’s just the distractions outside the tent. Inside, there’s the not so sweet sound of children snoring. Of muted songs through discarded iPod headphones. Then there’s the smell. Someone in the tent always smells of bonfire, of sweat, of cowpat. Not an aphrodisiac. Not at all.

IMG 0129 Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

Someone in the tent always ends up smelling of smoke or something worse

Fewer worries

Fewer worries (37%) was next on the list. I worry all the time when I’m camping. Don’t’ you? I worry about the cows charging, the foxes stealing our food, the ants stealing into our shoes. I worry that the farmer will roll a tractor through the field in the early morning. That the couple next door with the paraffin heater will set fire to their tent and ours.

Our tent is now too small for us all so one of us has to sleep in the hooped tent outside. I worry that someone will steal the child. I worry that someone will steal the shoes they’ve left outside. I worry that a storm will come and blow us all away. Not very romantic. Not at all.

IMG 7460 Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

I can’t be the only one that spends the night peering out to see what that noise was?

Closer Proximity

Being closer together was the third reason for wanting to climb on top of each other. What? In our tent we’re already on top of each other. We bought our tent when the kids were tiny and called it the ‘party tent’ because there was so much space. Now they are almost as tall as me they roll on me in the night. They slap me in their dreams. They steal my thermarest. Not a passion jumpstart. Not at all.

IMG 7456 Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

By the time everyone is in the tent, there’s not much room for romance

Earlier bedtime

Yes, 7% put it down to an earlier bedtime. But if you crawl in too early then it’s still light. My skin does not look better in the green light of my Hilleberg or when the Terra Nova hoop bivvy forms a red halo around my head. And if you wait till it has turned dark then no one can find their sheet bag, and there’s an almighty row about who left the torch in the red pannier that’s still on the bike. Head torches can never be sexy. Not at all.

untitled 7342 Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

Believe me, torchlight does not bring out the best in me

Being in the great outdoors

Being in the Great Outdoors (3%) was the final point. Now that’s just stupid. When you’re in the tent you’re not actually in the great outdoors are you? There’s a great big wodge of canvas between you and the fresh air.

I wander off to find Stuart. “People ‘want to do it’ more when they’re in the tent because it’s the Great Outdoors,” I scoff. “So tell me how are they part of the outdoors if they’re in a sheet bag, a sleeping bag, and a giant canvas pod? And who wants to have sex in the Great Outdoors anyway?”

He reminds me how two out of three of our children were conceived. One outside a tent in Chile. The other in a tent in New Zealand. Maybe there’s something in that survey?

IMG 4264 Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?

Do it in a tent and this is what you get

Talking Point

Do you “do it” more in a tent? Is canvas the jump start your relationship needs?

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Talking Point is our series of conversation posts where we pick an idea or theme, post an opinion and invite you to join the conversation by leaving a comment below.

 

 

 

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Kirstie is the Editor of The Family Adventure Project. A professional writer, she's the creative and journalistic force behind many of the stories and features published here. She's a co-founder and co-director of the project, the misadventure magnet part of the partnership and a busy mum.

25 Responses to “Talking point: Do you ‘do it’ more in a tent?” Subscribe

  1. Sherpa Bill October 3, 2013 at 4:21 pm #

    Ha! Thanks for sharing Kristie. I tend to agree to a point. I think the survey must have polled the younger, unmarried (read no kids) types.

    There is something to be said about the lure of the outdoors and love. I first told my now wife that I loved her as I helped pull ticks from her bra line.
    – Sherpa Bill

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:00 pm #

      Ha. No one has ever offered to pull ticks from my bra line, so you are a true romantic. Thank you for sharing back.

  2. Thomas Arbs October 3, 2013 at 5:59 pm #

    No, I strongly doubt a second kid is likely to be conceived in a confined space with number one around. Generally I doubt we “did it” more than a small number of times, for all the reasons you mentioned. Still, family lore has it that number one was indeed conceived that very way. Well, there you go.

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:02 pm #

      Hey, our two families have more in common than we realised!

  3. Mae @ Mommy Loves Trees October 3, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

    I see all the logic in your points; but, on the other hand, what better way to de-stress at the end of the day than a little “couple time”. We bought a 2 room tent so we could have a little privacy. Also, and perhaps fore most, my husband isn’t outdoorsy, so it is how I help him enjoy our time camping.

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:10 pm #

      Mae, that’s a very practical solution. Is it too late for us? Must look into pods. Or two tents. Thank you for joining the debate.

  4. Jennifer Howze October 4, 2013 at 11:16 am #

    A head lamp. Hmmm. Am not sure the things its ray falls upon during sex should be brightly lit.

    Funny post!

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:04 pm #

      Perhaps one should volunteer to be the headlamp wearer. If one was ever to have a conversation about it. Which admittedly, would be wierd!

  5. Val in Real Life October 4, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

    Oh I almost snorted coffee out my nose on that last picture! I’m with you though on many counts… there’s a lot that’s decidedly unromantic about camping especially with kids in tow. But without kids around I’d be all over it. Thanks for the laugh.

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:07 pm #

      Snorting coffee is another reason to add to the list! I do that. Even in a tent. Not snorting in a recreational sense I must add….

  6. kate (Beans and Bunny) October 4, 2013 at 2:09 pm #

    Our kids have their own tent :) Eliminates a number of issues on your list.

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:13 pm #

      Kate, you and Mae (see above) have clearly got it sorted. But what happens I wonder, when WW3 breaks out in the tent next door, as it invariably does when one half of our family is left unsupervised by the other half for more than 5 minutes..?

      • kate (Beans and Bunny) October 17, 2013 at 8:00 pm #

        Strategic timing is key – after they have fallen asleep, but before they are woken up by whatever strange noise nature invariably provides around 2am…

  7. Visionairey October 4, 2013 at 11:28 pm #

    Why waste any night or day that you are together. Whether you in a tent, on a picnic table, hotel room – if you are together then what else does one need. New locations, close proximity will most likely increase the frequency. After 50 years we don’t let any location or opportunity slip by…

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:17 pm #

      Aww. That’s very cool. And maybe once the kids have grown or got a tent of their own… Anyway, thanks for adding to the conversation.

  8. Nancy Sathre-Vogel October 5, 2013 at 5:38 pm #

    Nope. Sorry. Covered with road grime, sweat, and sunscreen is NOT the most sexy condition. A tent will do if it’s a last option, but that’s about it.

    • Kirstie October 7, 2013 at 7:22 pm #

      Spoken like a true cyclist and mother Nancy! Thanks for commenting. By the way, a couple of people at TBEX networking thought I was you. Basked in your glory for a while before admitting my true identity. Anyway, know that you are loved!

  9. vicky October 5, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

    hells yes! why not? for sure theres no acrobatics going on but its certainly very intimate! my daughter was concieved in a tent while on a round the world bike trip haha true story x

    • Kirstie October 6, 2013 at 8:36 pm #

      Vicky, Maybe long bike rides are the aphrodisiac and not the tent!

  10. Nicola October 9, 2013 at 3:46 pm #

    Great post guys!!

  11. Trish October 10, 2013 at 7:38 pm #

    My husband has one of those head cameras which he uses for gynae examinations. I make sure he doesn’t bring it home with him!

    • Kirstie October 14, 2013 at 1:52 pm #

      I’m really glad you added the second bit.

  12. Laura November 11, 2013 at 8:16 pm #

    It’s what the rare nights in a bed are for on a long trip! Sweaty skin that is sticky from sunscreen and smelly from mozzie repellent is most definitely not a turn on. We got a double sleeping sheet to try ensure romance didn’t disappear but not recommended!

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